nobody knows . .

-nobody really knows anything about this situation . nobody really knows where i stand with him . i been thru it ALL ; the rumors , the heartaches ; EVERYTHING . you only see whats on the OUTSIDE ; you don't know what goes on when i'm alone . NOBODY knows really . the lies ; the rumors ; the bullshxt ; the deceit ; the heartbreaks ; several nervous breakdowns . . all this needs to come to an end . i have to put up this front ; like oh , nothings wrong with desean ; desean's alright . *lol ; yeah i'm alright physically . mentally & emotionally ? i'm a WRECK . i done cried a few nights ; couldn't get any sleep ; couldnt eat . NONE of that . nobody knows but two people , i dont know who's gonna keep me from going losing my sanity . i really dont know .

-i'm TIRED of all the rumors ; all the he say ; she say bullshxt . rumors are stupid ; everybody has somethin to say , & after awhile ; rumors can really get to a person & fck with them ; trust me , i know what it feels like .

-i'm TIRED of all the lies ; basically samething applies for rumors .

-the bullshit ? ENOUGH said .

basically ; let me sum this up . i dont see why i'm stuck in this situation ; i really dont . & i can sit here ; & tell you EVERYTHING , but at the end of it all . youre still gonna point the finger & tell me i'm WRONG ; & i shouldnt do this ; & i shouldnt do that . but i didn't ASK for these feelings , they came . & if youre a human with a heart ; you should know , its very hard to control feelings . i feel better ; i put the shit in dha back of my mind ; but i'm still crying on the inside . i'm still crying ; i dont know what to say to nobody ; all i wanna do is WRITE ; & fade away . . i'm sick of EVERYTHING . i just wanna go away ; & hopefully come back & everything is GONE . & i DONT expect for anybody to feel me on this ; i dont expect for people to understand me ; because personally , half the time i dont understand myself ; this shit keeps eatin at me ; & i think i'm gonna eventually lose my mind . i'm hanging on ; by a wing ; a prayer ; & god . & lord knows , the wing is startin to break ; & the prayer ? psh ; only keeps gettin longer . i just hope i'm ABLE to get thru it all . i just hope everything goes away ; i just hope . . .

& they say ; BIG hearts ; are EASLIY broken .

;desean .